Post by Cobra on Aug 8, 2008 9:23:04 GMT -5
Hello and welcome to an all new addition of Cob-Web's weekly predictions, brought to you by Bounty Paper Towels, Mountain Man Soda("We put the burly man in you"), Huggie's Baby Wipes, and Curly Gurl Magazine("For the 'Curly Gurl' you've always had in you!").
Something I heard after the first return episode was that I got at least seven predictions right last time. I was called a genius by one Double A(AA? Wait, is that Destructo Boy?), but I can't accept that honor, as these are my very biased opinions. Wait, no, **** you, I am a genius. That's awesome. At least 7? How many matches were there, like 9? That's really good! Good job me. Aaanyway, Judgment is shaping up to be quite the event, and for good reason. We have Execution going in singles matches against mystery execution members, and we have a meaningless uninspiring Judgment title match between Jake and Damian. Nobody has ever liked either of them and nobody ever will. Meh. Here are those things you just read 2 paragraphs to get to.
Thank you and goodnight.
(C) Fighter-X Entertainment 2008
This program was brought to you by Bounty Paper Towels, Mountain Man Soda("We put the burly man in you"), Huggie's Baby Wipes, and Curly Gurl Magazine("For the 'Curly Gurl' you've always had in you!").
Something I heard after the first return episode was that I got at least seven predictions right last time. I was called a genius by one Double A(AA? Wait, is that Destructo Boy?), but I can't accept that honor, as these are my very biased opinions. Wait, no, **** you, I am a genius. That's awesome. At least 7? How many matches were there, like 9? That's really good! Good job me. Aaanyway, Judgment is shaping up to be quite the event, and for good reason. We have Execution going in singles matches against mystery execution members, and we have a meaningless uninspiring Judgment title match between Jake and Damian. Nobody has ever liked either of them and nobody ever will. Meh. Here are those things you just read 2 paragraphs to get to.
Normal Match
"Killa" Jay Combs vs Crim
Killa Jay has fallen further than I've ever seen anyone do so. Maybe with the exception of the Judgment title. Jay went from a top contender for a bunch of things, and then he slipped, now is trying to get people in his crappy 2 girls 1 guy and a pizza place faction. BUT, Crim thinks he's hot **** so he loses. Quickly.
"Killa" Jay Combs vs Crim
Killa Jay has fallen further than I've ever seen anyone do so. Maybe with the exception of the Judgment title. Jay went from a top contender for a bunch of things, and then he slipped, now is trying to get people in his crappy 2 girls 1 guy and a pizza place faction. BUT, Crim thinks he's hot **** so he loses. Quickly.
Tag Team Match
B.T.Y. (Perfection & Heartbreaker)
vs
eXtinction (2 Mystery Members from Carnage)
IT'S DRAVEN DRESSED UP AS THE JOKER AND FIGHTER-X WITH A RED MASK ON. That said, B.T.Y. has never really held any presence in the CRF, and thank god, because they constantly rant about how they are going to take over the CRF. Not today bub, Fighter-X and Draven win.
B.T.Y. (Perfection & Heartbreaker)
vs
eXtinction (2 Mystery Members from Carnage)
IT'S DRAVEN DRESSED UP AS THE JOKER AND FIGHTER-X WITH A RED MASK ON. That said, B.T.Y. has never really held any presence in the CRF, and thank god, because they constantly rant about how they are going to take over the CRF. Not today bub, Fighter-X and Draven win.
Hardcore Match (Non-Title)
Boris Magnum vs Big Green Azz
If Boris Magnum was actually good, he wouldn't be facing a member of the Looney Toons. BGA wins it.
Boris Magnum vs Big Green Azz
If Boris Magnum was actually good, he wouldn't be facing a member of the Looney Toons. BGA wins it.
Fighter-X Rules Match
Magician vs Mystery eXtinction Member
Magician, this is just a message to you: stop. Really, just give up, and stop trying. Challenging Fighter like that is not good for someone who is a failed member of like 17.5 different groups. Mystery eXtinction member is going to win this one.
Magician vs Mystery eXtinction Member
Magician, this is just a message to you: stop. Really, just give up, and stop trying. Challenging Fighter like that is not good for someone who is a failed member of like 17.5 different groups. Mystery eXtinction member is going to win this one.
Special Referee Match
Rappier vs Booger's Chosen Opponent & Booger's Chosen Referee
As we all know, Booger corrected me last week. He hasn't showed since June of 1978(or something like that). Booger's chosen opponent can truly range from someone like Low Ki to that ice cream man that has been enslaved in Booger's locker room for the last year and a half. Rappier wins either way.
Rappier vs Booger's Chosen Opponent & Booger's Chosen Referee
As we all know, Booger corrected me last week. He hasn't showed since June of 1978(or something like that). Booger's chosen opponent can truly range from someone like Low Ki to that ice cream man that has been enslaved in Booger's locker room for the last year and a half. Rappier wins either way.
Special Referee Match
Booger vs Rappier's Chosen Opponent & Rappier's Chosen Referee
This however is different. I have a good feeling of who Rapper's choice is, and that Booger is still going to beat him/her. Sorry boys, your little experiment ends in a stalemate.
Booger vs Rappier's Chosen Opponent & Rappier's Chosen Referee
This however is different. I have a good feeling of who Rapper's choice is, and that Booger is still going to beat him/her. Sorry boys, your little experiment ends in a stalemate.
Normal Match (Non-Title)
Double A vs Hughesy
AA AA AA AA Destructio Boy. Like I said last week, I really just can't imagine myself thinking Hughesy will ever win a match again, unless he's facing 1. Gary Howe, or 2. Damian Williams. Double A for the win.
Double A vs Hughesy
AA AA AA AA Destructio Boy. Like I said last week, I really just can't imagine myself thinking Hughesy will ever win a match again, unless he's facing 1. Gary Howe, or 2. Damian Williams. Double A for the win.
Fighter-X Rules Match
Cobra vs Mystery eXtinction Member
Clearly, in Fighter's eyes I am underrated. I have a good feeling I'm going to be taking on that crazy bastard Nemesis(did you see his promo? I'm pretty sure he fought a stuffed animal!) or even god damn Bloodfist in this one. I win, even if I end up with Draven, which is also very possible, because I'm great.
Cobra vs Mystery eXtinction Member
Clearly, in Fighter's eyes I am underrated. I have a good feeling I'm going to be taking on that crazy bastard Nemesis(did you see his promo? I'm pretty sure he fought a stuffed animal!) or even god damn Bloodfist in this one. I win, even if I end up with Draven, which is also very possible, because I'm great.
Fighter-X Rules Match
Vayne vs Mystery eXtinction Member
It's likely that Vayne gets to take on either Fighter or Monster here. If it's against Fighter, Vayne wins. If it's against Monster, he gets his a$$ kicked. Sorry Vayne.
Vayne vs Mystery eXtinction Member
It's likely that Vayne gets to take on either Fighter or Monster here. If it's against Fighter, Vayne wins. If it's against Monster, he gets his a$$ kicked. Sorry Vayne.
Fighter-X Rules Match
Eric Omega vs Mystery eXtinction Member
Is there ever a question to whether or not Eric Omega will win? No. Because he will.
Eric Omega vs Mystery eXtinction Member
Is there ever a question to whether or not Eric Omega will win? No. Because he will.
Normal Match (Non-Title)
Gary Howe vs Ice
Ok kids, we're going to go over this again. Gary Howe is what I like to call "special". Not the same special used at schools when you see the kid drooling(though this could also apply), but "special" because he doesn't win, yet he's still managed to have a title or two in his day. And by day I really do mean day. He had one of them. It was "okay". That said, Gary Howe will never win again as long as I'm doing predictions...or unless he's facing Damian Williams.
Gary Howe vs Ice
Ok kids, we're going to go over this again. Gary Howe is what I like to call "special". Not the same special used at schools when you see the kid drooling(though this could also apply), but "special" because he doesn't win, yet he's still managed to have a title or two in his day. And by day I really do mean day. He had one of them. It was "okay". That said, Gary Howe will never win again as long as I'm doing predictions...or unless he's facing Damian Williams.
Special Referee Fighter-X Rules Match (Non-Title)
Nail vs Darkness with Special Referee Magician
This is something I had been looking forward to ever since my triumphant return. Nail coming back. He's the man! I am, however, going to miss his sister. Ammit, really girl, call me up. I have a hot tub. How can you say no to a hot tub? You can't. Nail get me that number, because you beat Darkness.
Nail vs Darkness with Special Referee Magician
This is something I had been looking forward to ever since my triumphant return. Nail coming back. He's the man! I am, however, going to miss his sister. Ammit, really girl, call me up. I have a hot tub. How can you say no to a hot tub? You can't. Nail get me that number, because you beat Darkness.
Judgement Championship
Normal Match
Jake Jones vs Damian Williams
Sometimes there is just a match that gives me goosebumps on my sarcophagus, because it's just such a damn good matchup and I can't wait to see it. Those matches don't come by often, and this is not one of them. Jake Jones vs. Damian Williams will be a match for the ages. No it will not be. Both of these wrestlers fail, oh so miserably no matter what the hell they do. I told myself I would never go for Damian in one of these, so I won't. Prediction: the match doesn't start because the two superstars can't figure out how to get in the ring.
Normal Match
Jake Jones vs Damian Williams
Sometimes there is just a match that gives me goosebumps on my sarcophagus, because it's just such a damn good matchup and I can't wait to see it. Those matches don't come by often, and this is not one of them. Jake Jones vs. Damian Williams will be a match for the ages. No it will not be. Both of these wrestlers fail, oh so miserably no matter what the hell they do. I told myself I would never go for Damian in one of these, so I won't. Prediction: the match doesn't start because the two superstars can't figure out how to get in the ring.
Thank you and goodnight.
(C) Fighter-X Entertainment 2008
This program was brought to you by Bounty Paper Towels, Mountain Man Soda("We put the burly man in you"), Huggie's Baby Wipes, and Curly Gurl Magazine("For the 'Curly Gurl' you've always had in you!").
