Post by Baby Dogg on Apr 6, 2011 15:59:06 GMT -5
Another signing, another press conference! This time, it's someone new to CRF. Fader Gladiator's Battle of the Planets plays, and out walks a man who appears to be of mixed European and Pacific Islander extraction. His jet black hair is spiked up high, his vintage 1960s brown leather jacket is tastefully scuffed in all the right places, and oh my, those jeans must have cost something like three hundred dollars... Oh, and - just visible past his Aviator shades - he's wearing eyeliner. Underneath the jacket is a red-and-grey rippled top with the neckline plunging all the way down to his pecs, showing off a necklace of black wooden beads. He draws some noise from those who are familiar with his pre-CRF career - some of that noise is very positive, some is most definitely not. What we have here is a man who splits opinion, and apparently, quite divisively.
"Yo. How the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are ya!? I'm the one and only 'Level 20 Epic Sex God' himself Anson Orlandelli, as if you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] didn't already know. What you don't already know: I'm the latest and greatest CRF star! Yes, that's right, as of this morning yours truly is Oh-[EXPLETIVE DELETED]-Ficially the next CRF Champion. I don't know which championship. I don't even care. One of 'em. All of 'em. Whatever. Point is I'm getting bored of all the belts I own and I want a new one. Something in black leather with a big gold bit right here, ya feel me? [EXPLETIVE DELETED] yeah. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] rad man like Batman, man."
He gestures around his waist. His demeanour is... inconsistent? His intonation and body language come off like a cross between a stoned surfer and a kid with ADHD sucking down Smarties.
"Now before someone wants to run their mouth like a little [EXPLETIVE DELETED], can I just say I know how it goes man. I know the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] rubric. Can we dispense of all the "you're just a rookie" [EXPLETIVE DELETED] cause I ain't, and "you ain't done [EXPLETIVE DELETED] here in CRF yet" [EXPLETIVE DELETED] because I can guaran-[EXPLETIVE DELETED]-tee you in about two weeks I'll have done more than every other mother[EXPLETIVE DELETED] in this company's history combined. You can see with your own two eyes I'm the best looking and best dressed and flat out [EXPLETIVE DELETED] sexiest man ever to set foot in CRF. Two minutes into my first match you'll know I'm the best athlete too. Consider this your mother[EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] notice CRF. All your title belt are belong to me, [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. You have no chance to survive so please make your [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] time. Yo."
(TBC anyone)
"Yo. How the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are ya!? I'm the one and only 'Level 20 Epic Sex God' himself Anson Orlandelli, as if you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] didn't already know. What you don't already know: I'm the latest and greatest CRF star! Yes, that's right, as of this morning yours truly is Oh-[EXPLETIVE DELETED]-Ficially the next CRF Champion. I don't know which championship. I don't even care. One of 'em. All of 'em. Whatever. Point is I'm getting bored of all the belts I own and I want a new one. Something in black leather with a big gold bit right here, ya feel me? [EXPLETIVE DELETED] yeah. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] rad man like Batman, man."
He gestures around his waist. His demeanour is... inconsistent? His intonation and body language come off like a cross between a stoned surfer and a kid with ADHD sucking down Smarties.
"Now before someone wants to run their mouth like a little [EXPLETIVE DELETED], can I just say I know how it goes man. I know the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] rubric. Can we dispense of all the "you're just a rookie" [EXPLETIVE DELETED] cause I ain't, and "you ain't done [EXPLETIVE DELETED] here in CRF yet" [EXPLETIVE DELETED] because I can guaran-[EXPLETIVE DELETED]-tee you in about two weeks I'll have done more than every other mother[EXPLETIVE DELETED] in this company's history combined. You can see with your own two eyes I'm the best looking and best dressed and flat out [EXPLETIVE DELETED] sexiest man ever to set foot in CRF. Two minutes into my first match you'll know I'm the best athlete too. Consider this your mother[EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] notice CRF. All your title belt are belong to me, [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. You have no chance to survive so please make your [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] time. Yo."
(TBC anyone)