Post by Jake Jones on Jan 17, 2009 3:27:17 GMT -5
(Jake Jones Is Running down the Card for Judgment and smirks come across his face as he reads the matches. Nail Vs Magician with Special Referee Vayne especially makes Jake Jones happy as he laughs a bit as well. Jake Jones Looks even further down the card at the main event and smiles as he looks at all the contenders for his title and he turns his back and wonders why he doesn't have a match at Judgment, He Looks back as a worried look comes across his face. He shakes his head but then reads it carefully. (Damian Williams vs. Gary Phoenix vs. Booger "The Sex Machine" vs. Heartbreaker vs. Monster vs. Jake Jones.)
Jake Jones: This is a complete screw Job. I ask for the Night off anything to do with the Judgment World championship and I Get put in a 6 man battle royal with violent people. Jake Jones has more important things to do then play a game of wrestling under Fighter X’s Rules. Jake Jones is apart of the most dominated team ever created, im in a team of dual champions. Vayne and I both have two titles each, two titles that actually mean something, compared to the intercontinental or the hardcore or whatever else belt still exists. We are the future, we are the present and we both have our pasts, good or evil. At the moment, we aren’t baby faces and we aren’t killer heels, were in the middle. Where bad heroes, we do things the way we want to do them and that’s the only way in our minds. People say why Vayne why do you team up with such an not a very nice person like Jake Jones, a self absorbed egomaniac and you know what he says, he doesn’t say anything he smashes them in the face with the sledgehammer. Last week, I Bailed Vayne out of Jail and you want to know why because this old lady smiled at him and said you have a good time sunny. Well vayne wasn’t having a good time and he saw that as an insult so he turned around walked a few meters and picked up a sledgehammer that was lying on the floor and then busted her face in. The only thing that surprises me is, where he finds the sledgehammers it’s like he plants them all over the town he’s in. Just in case he gets into a fight, theirs one in the corner of the room. But another thing that pisses me off, he gets two fun things and im stuck in a crappy battle royal for my number 1 contender ship, I suppose im in the Main event and he isn’t but he gets to be a special referee and he gets to kick Fighter x’s butt in a tag match. It’s not a competition or anything no, it’s just why does he get all the fun, im the cool too. See, I can be a cool hip guy with awesome sunnies and a sledgehammer but I like to drink tea and bash people with my brass knuckles, which I haven’t done for awhile. I still regret both nail and magician kicking vaynes butt and I Jumped out of the ring and stood there, I Was frozen or I was smart, either way. I should have pulled the brass knuckles out and attacked them from behind, what’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with Jake Jones, Argghh.
(Jake Jones pauses and starts scratching his head as he looks down at the floor, he looks up still scratching his head and looks confused. He starts to talk as he’s rubbing his chin with his whole hand.)
Jake Jones: Right Now, This is a Jake Jones interview, I Guess, I See a Video Camera recording me, so here goes I’ll start with the first person on the card for my title and go onwards from there. First in contention for my title is the former mayhem world and Judgment World champion, Damian Williams. Now Damian Williams is good, but isn’t Jake Jones’s good. Damian Williams has been bugging me for awhile now; He is one of my favorites to win this battle royal to be honest. I bet deep down inside he thinks he’s a hall of famer in CRF. I bet he thinks oh I won two titles that make’s me famous, that makes me special. That makes me a somebody, well Damian, your still a nobody. I brought you and Hughesy in and did you ever thank me, did you ever like give me a hug and say you’re the best, know you used me to get to the top and then you turned on me. Then two months down the line you realize, oh crap we need our mentor back, we don’t know crap, Im now Judgment world champion and Hughesy Intercontinental champion but what the hell do we do now. Well instead of Joining back with the rookies from X Factor I Joined an even bigger cast of Rejects, I Joined Execution. I should have just stayed by myself to be honest. You got pissed, screwed me out of the Judgment World championship at the PPV and made it a handicap match, people booed the crap out of you and you were the baby face. That made you reconsider because you didn’t like being hated and you made a match, a fair match and I beat your butt. For this title once again and I’ve still got it, Lost it once to booger but in the end I Got it back and its on my shoulder. Damian Williams, You win this battle royal and I’ll whip you mentor style once again, I’ll take you old school and I’ll bite, I’ll scratch and I’ll cheat to keep this title, I’ll even make you bleed because Damian You may have beaten the best, but you haven’t beaten me without Hughesy help and Hughesy isn’t here anymore, he’s disappeared. So, It will be fair, oh wait no it won’t now its 2 on 1 in favor of me, I’ve got vayne you’ve got absolutely no body. Everyone Hates you, all you have to do Damian, is help me win this battle royal and I’ll grant you any wish you want, because im like the god father around here, you want anyone Injured, Vaynes got the sledge and I’ve got the brassy.
(Jake Jones pauses and looks across the list and a grin appears on his face.)
Jake Jones: Gary Phoenix who the hell are you, demanding to be in my Jake Jones Invitational battle royal. You’re a no Body, you somehow have a vendetta against Gary Howe, The Guy me and my partner totally corrupted. But why, He’s gone now, there’s no Gary Howe in Crf, We ended his career. You go down that path in getting in me and vaynes face and we will end your career as well, pretty boy. Im just wondering why you’re even in this match, how long have you been here and you’re in contention for one of the crf’s best titles, thanks to me, who gave it credibility but what have you done to prove to me, why you should even be in my match. Sure I’ve paid a little attention to you, I’ve watched you, but you don’t impress me one bit. You beat a man named Adam Matthews, oh good job, he’s a rookie just like you. You haven’t even stepped into the big leagues yet, your not a favorite to win, you’re going to be the punching bag for monster and Damian. I Guarantee, you won’t make it to the match with me and if you do by some weird chance of luck, you will end up like your best friend Gary Howe lying in a pool of blood. By the way this is been on my chest for awhile, I Stared at you because you were in my way, you were in the 2 time crf dual champions way. No one gets in my way, especially some jobber. I Watched the security cameras in fighter x’s office and you said I was admiring you for being so big, yeah your big but the bigger they are the dumber they are and one shot with the brass knuckles and you will be speaking in tongues, my friend. Im Just another stepping stone, huh, to what, Im the freaking main event, what’s higher then Jake Jones, no body. Absolutely no body, you want to step on me, I’ll break your feet and Make my way up, you may be tall but it will only take me a few minutes to chop you down so your heads laying on the floor with the rest of your body.
(Jake Jones pauses and looks down the list as he looks pretty calm and he has a smile on his face as he continues. He Then pulls out a pair of sunnies and places them on his face as vayne does and smiles.)
Jake Jones: Look good, yeah I know im the champ. I always look good. Compared with that fat disgusting pig booger, man he makes me so disgusted the way he roams around the halls and acts like all the women love him. Booger mania is dead, I defeated him and stole back my title, stole back my pride, he took my soul when he took my title and I won’t let that happen again. I got stupid and I was having fun with him and I miss calculated how good he is beyond that stupid gimmick. He’s a good wrestler for a fat man. His gimmick ruins him and that’s why he’s never going to be taken seriously, but maybe that’s his gimmick, maybe he doesn’t want to be the top dog like me. But seriously all there is to me is the top. If you’re not the best, you’re nothing. You’re a nobody, booger, you stole my title once, shame on you; I Won’t let it happen again. Mark my words, there won’t be booger beat Jake Jones again in the history books, never ever again. Booger, im sorry, but im going to have to say, that was a one time thing and your not going to be in my picks to win the battle royal. Your stinky fingers, if they go near my mouth, where I kiss my women. They will be destroyed and I’ll make sure of that, I Promise you put those fingers anywhere near my mouth, I’ll destroy finger by finger until I got the whole hand, Period.
(Jake Jones starts faking a heart attack and then starts laughing.)
Jake Jones: oh you’re breaking my heart, Heart breaker. No wait, don’t worry that’s Just gas. Heartbreaker, why, oh why did you become involved with my match. Don’t you remember me beating your new D-X Team ages ago? Carnage vs. Mayhem, we beat you, don’t you remember. You should, I bloody rub it in every chance I get. There are simply no extra words I can say, I haven’t said before besides this. You’re not going to win. Your better then no one, you beat me and vayne for the tag titles sure. But this match is way more important then that and by yourself, your useless. You’re like a flaming bag without the crap in it, the crap being Stan the Woman. Your useless without your buddy, what do you bring to the table. Damian Brings in his credibility cause he came of a title lost, That Gary dude brings in his willing ness to be better then howe, booger brings his smelliness and the im not a one hit wonder gimmick. Monster brings in his, im big and scary give me a match or I’ll destroy your office. What do you bring, ey, oh wait I know, you bring in. If you don’t allow me in this match, I’ll break your heart. But Heart breaker, I don’t have a heart, Im Cold and soulless, you can look but all you will find is a black hole, seriously. Hey, when you turn into a good guy and leave better then no one, you can be called the heart fixer and carry around a bow and arrow full of heart arrows. Eh, worth a try, whatever to get you over right.
(Jake Jones Starts mimicking monster by doing a strange walk and growling.)
Jake Jones: It’s Godzilla, Freaking Godzilla, oh my god. Everyone run no wait. It’s just an overweight fat man, who growls. Maybe I’ll buy him some MacDonald’s and he will reconsider being in this match. Get him the super size meal cause a fat man like that can’t just have a medium. No, we got to get him the biggest there is and he will be under my control. He can’t even get through doors the fat bastard, Im actually reconsidering getting him a super size meal, maybe, all he needs is some treadmill time. Maybe I’ll buy him a treadmill and something to glue his hands to the bar so he has to do it. He can then growl at the machine and the machine can growl back. You know why he’s got a strange man to talk for him, because he’s a dumb butt. The Monster, can’t speak, all he can do is growl actually there’s two things he can say. They are Food and More. He never past primary school, they flunked him when he was 21, because they realized there’s no chance teaching a dog new tricks. Especially a dumb dog that’s so fat, he has to have a seat made for him.
(Jake Jones stops once again and smiles.)
Jake Jones: The Bottom line is, Im going win this battle royal and then I Choose my opponent, I Can’t have a night off at the ppv but I sure can make it easy for me. The only thing that matters is Jake Jones, tonight and everynight. Fighter X thinks this will break my spirit, no he won't because, Im untouchable and thats Period.
(Jake Jones heads for his locker room with a grin on his face.)
TBC or end.
Jake Jones: This is a complete screw Job. I ask for the Night off anything to do with the Judgment World championship and I Get put in a 6 man battle royal with violent people. Jake Jones has more important things to do then play a game of wrestling under Fighter X’s Rules. Jake Jones is apart of the most dominated team ever created, im in a team of dual champions. Vayne and I both have two titles each, two titles that actually mean something, compared to the intercontinental or the hardcore or whatever else belt still exists. We are the future, we are the present and we both have our pasts, good or evil. At the moment, we aren’t baby faces and we aren’t killer heels, were in the middle. Where bad heroes, we do things the way we want to do them and that’s the only way in our minds. People say why Vayne why do you team up with such an not a very nice person like Jake Jones, a self absorbed egomaniac and you know what he says, he doesn’t say anything he smashes them in the face with the sledgehammer. Last week, I Bailed Vayne out of Jail and you want to know why because this old lady smiled at him and said you have a good time sunny. Well vayne wasn’t having a good time and he saw that as an insult so he turned around walked a few meters and picked up a sledgehammer that was lying on the floor and then busted her face in. The only thing that surprises me is, where he finds the sledgehammers it’s like he plants them all over the town he’s in. Just in case he gets into a fight, theirs one in the corner of the room. But another thing that pisses me off, he gets two fun things and im stuck in a crappy battle royal for my number 1 contender ship, I suppose im in the Main event and he isn’t but he gets to be a special referee and he gets to kick Fighter x’s butt in a tag match. It’s not a competition or anything no, it’s just why does he get all the fun, im the cool too. See, I can be a cool hip guy with awesome sunnies and a sledgehammer but I like to drink tea and bash people with my brass knuckles, which I haven’t done for awhile. I still regret both nail and magician kicking vaynes butt and I Jumped out of the ring and stood there, I Was frozen or I was smart, either way. I should have pulled the brass knuckles out and attacked them from behind, what’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with Jake Jones, Argghh.
(Jake Jones pauses and starts scratching his head as he looks down at the floor, he looks up still scratching his head and looks confused. He starts to talk as he’s rubbing his chin with his whole hand.)
Jake Jones: Right Now, This is a Jake Jones interview, I Guess, I See a Video Camera recording me, so here goes I’ll start with the first person on the card for my title and go onwards from there. First in contention for my title is the former mayhem world and Judgment World champion, Damian Williams. Now Damian Williams is good, but isn’t Jake Jones’s good. Damian Williams has been bugging me for awhile now; He is one of my favorites to win this battle royal to be honest. I bet deep down inside he thinks he’s a hall of famer in CRF. I bet he thinks oh I won two titles that make’s me famous, that makes me special. That makes me a somebody, well Damian, your still a nobody. I brought you and Hughesy in and did you ever thank me, did you ever like give me a hug and say you’re the best, know you used me to get to the top and then you turned on me. Then two months down the line you realize, oh crap we need our mentor back, we don’t know crap, Im now Judgment world champion and Hughesy Intercontinental champion but what the hell do we do now. Well instead of Joining back with the rookies from X Factor I Joined an even bigger cast of Rejects, I Joined Execution. I should have just stayed by myself to be honest. You got pissed, screwed me out of the Judgment World championship at the PPV and made it a handicap match, people booed the crap out of you and you were the baby face. That made you reconsider because you didn’t like being hated and you made a match, a fair match and I beat your butt. For this title once again and I’ve still got it, Lost it once to booger but in the end I Got it back and its on my shoulder. Damian Williams, You win this battle royal and I’ll whip you mentor style once again, I’ll take you old school and I’ll bite, I’ll scratch and I’ll cheat to keep this title, I’ll even make you bleed because Damian You may have beaten the best, but you haven’t beaten me without Hughesy help and Hughesy isn’t here anymore, he’s disappeared. So, It will be fair, oh wait no it won’t now its 2 on 1 in favor of me, I’ve got vayne you’ve got absolutely no body. Everyone Hates you, all you have to do Damian, is help me win this battle royal and I’ll grant you any wish you want, because im like the god father around here, you want anyone Injured, Vaynes got the sledge and I’ve got the brassy.
(Jake Jones pauses and looks across the list and a grin appears on his face.)
Jake Jones: Gary Phoenix who the hell are you, demanding to be in my Jake Jones Invitational battle royal. You’re a no Body, you somehow have a vendetta against Gary Howe, The Guy me and my partner totally corrupted. But why, He’s gone now, there’s no Gary Howe in Crf, We ended his career. You go down that path in getting in me and vaynes face and we will end your career as well, pretty boy. Im just wondering why you’re even in this match, how long have you been here and you’re in contention for one of the crf’s best titles, thanks to me, who gave it credibility but what have you done to prove to me, why you should even be in my match. Sure I’ve paid a little attention to you, I’ve watched you, but you don’t impress me one bit. You beat a man named Adam Matthews, oh good job, he’s a rookie just like you. You haven’t even stepped into the big leagues yet, your not a favorite to win, you’re going to be the punching bag for monster and Damian. I Guarantee, you won’t make it to the match with me and if you do by some weird chance of luck, you will end up like your best friend Gary Howe lying in a pool of blood. By the way this is been on my chest for awhile, I Stared at you because you were in my way, you were in the 2 time crf dual champions way. No one gets in my way, especially some jobber. I Watched the security cameras in fighter x’s office and you said I was admiring you for being so big, yeah your big but the bigger they are the dumber they are and one shot with the brass knuckles and you will be speaking in tongues, my friend. Im Just another stepping stone, huh, to what, Im the freaking main event, what’s higher then Jake Jones, no body. Absolutely no body, you want to step on me, I’ll break your feet and Make my way up, you may be tall but it will only take me a few minutes to chop you down so your heads laying on the floor with the rest of your body.
(Jake Jones pauses and looks down the list as he looks pretty calm and he has a smile on his face as he continues. He Then pulls out a pair of sunnies and places them on his face as vayne does and smiles.)
Jake Jones: Look good, yeah I know im the champ. I always look good. Compared with that fat disgusting pig booger, man he makes me so disgusted the way he roams around the halls and acts like all the women love him. Booger mania is dead, I defeated him and stole back my title, stole back my pride, he took my soul when he took my title and I won’t let that happen again. I got stupid and I was having fun with him and I miss calculated how good he is beyond that stupid gimmick. He’s a good wrestler for a fat man. His gimmick ruins him and that’s why he’s never going to be taken seriously, but maybe that’s his gimmick, maybe he doesn’t want to be the top dog like me. But seriously all there is to me is the top. If you’re not the best, you’re nothing. You’re a nobody, booger, you stole my title once, shame on you; I Won’t let it happen again. Mark my words, there won’t be booger beat Jake Jones again in the history books, never ever again. Booger, im sorry, but im going to have to say, that was a one time thing and your not going to be in my picks to win the battle royal. Your stinky fingers, if they go near my mouth, where I kiss my women. They will be destroyed and I’ll make sure of that, I Promise you put those fingers anywhere near my mouth, I’ll destroy finger by finger until I got the whole hand, Period.
(Jake Jones starts faking a heart attack and then starts laughing.)
Jake Jones: oh you’re breaking my heart, Heart breaker. No wait, don’t worry that’s Just gas. Heartbreaker, why, oh why did you become involved with my match. Don’t you remember me beating your new D-X Team ages ago? Carnage vs. Mayhem, we beat you, don’t you remember. You should, I bloody rub it in every chance I get. There are simply no extra words I can say, I haven’t said before besides this. You’re not going to win. Your better then no one, you beat me and vayne for the tag titles sure. But this match is way more important then that and by yourself, your useless. You’re like a flaming bag without the crap in it, the crap being Stan the Woman. Your useless without your buddy, what do you bring to the table. Damian Brings in his credibility cause he came of a title lost, That Gary dude brings in his willing ness to be better then howe, booger brings his smelliness and the im not a one hit wonder gimmick. Monster brings in his, im big and scary give me a match or I’ll destroy your office. What do you bring, ey, oh wait I know, you bring in. If you don’t allow me in this match, I’ll break your heart. But Heart breaker, I don’t have a heart, Im Cold and soulless, you can look but all you will find is a black hole, seriously. Hey, when you turn into a good guy and leave better then no one, you can be called the heart fixer and carry around a bow and arrow full of heart arrows. Eh, worth a try, whatever to get you over right.
(Jake Jones Starts mimicking monster by doing a strange walk and growling.)
Jake Jones: It’s Godzilla, Freaking Godzilla, oh my god. Everyone run no wait. It’s just an overweight fat man, who growls. Maybe I’ll buy him some MacDonald’s and he will reconsider being in this match. Get him the super size meal cause a fat man like that can’t just have a medium. No, we got to get him the biggest there is and he will be under my control. He can’t even get through doors the fat bastard, Im actually reconsidering getting him a super size meal, maybe, all he needs is some treadmill time. Maybe I’ll buy him a treadmill and something to glue his hands to the bar so he has to do it. He can then growl at the machine and the machine can growl back. You know why he’s got a strange man to talk for him, because he’s a dumb butt. The Monster, can’t speak, all he can do is growl actually there’s two things he can say. They are Food and More. He never past primary school, they flunked him when he was 21, because they realized there’s no chance teaching a dog new tricks. Especially a dumb dog that’s so fat, he has to have a seat made for him.
(Jake Jones stops once again and smiles.)
Jake Jones: The Bottom line is, Im going win this battle royal and then I Choose my opponent, I Can’t have a night off at the ppv but I sure can make it easy for me. The only thing that matters is Jake Jones, tonight and everynight. Fighter X thinks this will break my spirit, no he won't because, Im untouchable and thats Period.
(Jake Jones heads for his locker room with a grin on his face.)
TBC or end.
